"Really?!" I want to ask that reporter. How could that possibly be so incredulous... Unless you have no clue about what it is to live with a brain injury. The comment spotlighted the mass belief, that "if you can't see it, it can't be so bad". While losing a leg is undeniably horrifying and traumatic, if given the choice of that or a TBI, I would make the same choice as the veteran. I'll bet any TBI survivor would say the same. Sure I couldn't dance with an amputated leg, but I can't dance with a TBI either! Nor can I easily walk down a sidewalk, drive a car, remember what I did this morning, cook a meal, read a book, understand a bank statement, ride a bus, be in a crowd, sleep, go to a party or buy groceries.What people seem to not understand is that brain injury is different from any other injury because it changes not just the content of who we are, but the context. It changes the very things we identify as our personality and our sense of self. It changes the container that we are, and in doing so, it changes every aspect of life as we have known it. Over and over I hear brain injury survivors say "I don't feel like me anymore. I feel like someone else is living my life and I miss ME." We don't get to continue our lives as "us with an issue", we are no longer "us".
Is there really anyone who would prefer to have a working leg than a working brain? It reminds me of a woman I know with a brain injury who broke her leg. She was amazed at how much attention she received because she had a cast on her leg. To her, given what she had lived through, this was no big deal. The leg would heal in a matter of months. Her brain had been injured for a decade. Every day was an act of courage to get up and try her best to function and no one noticed. Brain injury might be invisible on the outside, but it is never invisible from the inside.
I am curious, what surprises you more, the veteran's statement or the reporter's surprise?
Nat, I am living and feeling your pain. I would choose to lose the leg also. Nat I am what I call lost I don't "connect" with my old self never mind my new self. I feel like I'm not even a self and I connected with Rita she is in the same boat with me by the way you would love her what an amazing woman she is. Do you feel the same way not connected?
ReplyDeleteMelissa,
DeleteYou are both amazing women! I know exactly what you mean. I felt that for 2 1/2 years and was going to a cranial osteopath every week. I will NEVER forget the moment when we were talking after a session and suddenly I was connecting with her. I screamed in mid-sentence I was so excited. It was like a crack appeared in the fog and a person got in. It was blissful. You may want to try cranial osteopathy. Floating disconnected from self and others and being unable to connect is so lonely and painful! I hve others ideas about this as well. Hang in there my friend, you are not alone, you never are.
Thanks Nat, I was in such high connecting with Rita that i could not power down was up for 36 hrs straight before i finally crashed. It was great to fine someone who understood me when i say i lost my soul and essence and that i don't exsist and not connected I was glad that Elise was there to help me. I will look into that cranial osteopathy. Thank you again and Nat I hope you know that you are never alone either Elise and I have your back always GF :)
DeleteNat, my nephew is in medical school for holistic medicine and this was his advice to me thought I would share with you
DeleteHi aunty, I have heard of cranial osteopathy. It is very similar to cranial sacral work. The basic idea is that the plates in the head can become misaligned and by putting them back into place it can provide relief from a nu,her of issues. If the skull is in alignment, then the spine can be, and then the limbs providing good posture. Good posture allows for proper flow of blood and nerves and allows the body to function properly. I think of it as a pre-chiropractor. A chiropractor takes care of the back and neck. If your skull is messed up, so is your neck and then your spine, thus why I call it pre-chiropractor. It's still a new medicine discovered in the late 1890s. I've had it done and it has been good for headaches, but it still doesn't fix the root of the problem. Therefore you'll need to continue to go back to get treatments. They may last longer and longer but will need to maintain them.
Whereas acupuncture is a much more complete medicine that address the root of the problems. Acupuncture has a history to 5000 BC for herbs and has been written since 200 AD. It was discovered on the war fields as a way to treat soldiers that were wounded on the field. So the experience is for trauma and illness. In my personal opinion, I'd rather you find an acupuncturist or allow me to find one for you. The cranial work will help with the symptoms but in my opinion, it won't treat the root and therefore never fully get better. Acupuncture address the root and the symptoms, and thus you will get better and not need treatment anymore.
In the end, do what you feel the most comfortable with. I support any treatment you decide to go with, but from my opinion if you're going to spend the money, spend the money on acupuncture.
Love you aunty, xxxo
Melissa
Oh Nathalie, this makes me so sad. Your writing touches a depth of understanding and feeling in me. I think you just have to keep telling us. My heart rides with you. Julia
ReplyDeleteTBI is indeed a very sad thing. It is a tragedy that stikes 1.7 million people each year in America alone. Each of those is a tragic story and I write not jsut for myself but for all of those who can;t! Thanks for being a compassionate person Julia.
DeleteHi Nathalie, this was interesting to read. I am not surprised by either what the veteran said or the reporters reaction. I have had similar thoughts, thinking what it would be like to have a visible injury. I do believe though that people with visible disabilities suffer in their own way and probably deal with things we don't give much thought to either.
ReplyDeleteI think the question is, what is worse, having someone not recognize your disability or someone making assumptions and maybe even full out discriminating against you?
Mark
Great question Mark! There is no right answer for any of this, just interesting food for thought and discusssion. The truth is that every human being is challenged and disabled in some way and most of our challenges are invisible to others. What I have found to be true for me is that when my disability shows or I am honest about my shrotcomings, people are amazingly kind and patient.
DeleteNathalie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience. This will help me better understand many people, both now and in the future. I have a preschooler in my school who has TBI. Can I ask his teachers to read your post? Thank you.
Edorah
Thanks for your interest Edorah. Of course his teacher can read it or contact me. My desire is to raise awareness and understanding of all people with TBIs. I am so saddened to think of someone so little with a TBI and am here to help however I can.
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